...tis the season....wish I could be more jolly!

WOW - It has been since early October since I have written anything. It's not like life has stood still....lol - Life has just been a little crazy!

First, Alan lost his job at the end of October. We took a road trip to New Jersey to see Mark (Alan's brother) and his family....on the drive up, Alan was calling his "people" and letting them know that their job had ended....how to file for unemployment....etc. Everyone was expecting it but not until the first of the year. But, Alan being Alan, didn't let it ruin our vaca - we had a wonderful time visiting with family.

Prior to that, we both suffered from some kind of flu....it was not fun! Two sick folks with tissues, medicines, germs, germs and more germs. I washed the sheets every night and slept in a separate bedroom too! (Alan snores too much when his nose is stopped up - although, I'm sure I did my share of snoring too) But, we survived it!!!!

Thanksgiving was a bit strange. First one with out my Mama. We went to my brother Scott's house in Mississippi. I love visiting them! Alan, Trey, Lauren and Kassie all went too - (Randy had work and exams so he couldn't go with him) But the food and fellowship was great! Just too short as always!

Christmas is around the corner and I can't get up the courage to put up any decorations. Everything reminds me of my Mama. Pearl (my sister in law) called me last weekend drinking wine while she decorated. She felt the same way. I'm not too sure I will decorate. Alan told me it was no big deal to him. He does want to get a tree though (he loves the smell and the lights he said) - If we do, it will be a few days before Christmas before the kids come.....

I AM EXCITED ABOUT THAT PART......Trey, Lauren, Kassie and Randy will all be at our house (aka home) Christmas Eve and spending the night - I think Alan is more excited than me. He keeps changing up the menu and what we will be doing....he is so funny! So hopefully, between now and then, this hole in my heart will mend a little bit more and I can really fill the true meaning of Christmas and not miss my Mama so much.

I keep reminding myself that next year we will all have Lily and Christmas can be enjoyed in a new way!

Until next time.....fa, la, la, la, la....tis the season!

Through the heart of "an almost" Ya-Ya

When Kassie told us she was pregnant the entire family was jumping for joy. First grandchild!! She is now about 17 weeks (over 4 months) – she called me yesterday and told me that they would be able to find out the sex of the baby October 13 and she wants me to go with her. I almost cried. It’s finally sinking in that my baby is going to have a baby!

My emotions are all up in the air – their 1 year wedding anniversary is this weekend. WOW, it has flown by so fast. I have so many memories helping plan her wedding. My mom and I took her to pick out a dress….I cried. Alan, my mom and Kassie went on adventures looking for a place to have the ceremony (I had to work). Finally decided on an outside wedding in Decatur, under a gazebo. Then the reception would be at a nearby hotel – perfect…..I cried. Kassie and I picked out the flowers (fun, fun, fun), invitations, wedding cake (that’s another story), tablecloths, ribbon color, taste testing, putting together party favors, phone calls, cancellations, decisions…..my head is spinning again. Having only 1 daughter, ever second was worth it!! It was all beautiful! Now, another chapter in my life. One I have never experienced and ….

How did this happen before my eyes? (How did she walk, talk, run, laugh, love, cry) And now…..she is going to be a Mommy. She has waited for this her entire life. As far back as I can remember she “thought” she was a Mommy with all of her babies that she played with. Even on the weekends if we past by her day care she would say, “I need to go check on my kids!” The Lord has blessed me with wonderful children who I adore – now my heart is getting ready for the next generation :)

I am going to be a Grandma! Ya-Ya to be exact. That name is soooo me! (And Alan will either my Poppy or Popa, he hasn't decided) I can’t imagine loving a child as much as I love “my babies”. This little baby will be a part of me. Will he/she like me? Will I remember how to handle a baby? All these thoughts run through my head and I am sure of one thing and one thing only...........

Little "Baxton West" or "Lily Lane", whoever God blesses our family with….I will love this baby with my entire being and pray that I can step into my mom’s shoes of being “Nanny” as I create my legend of “Ya-Ya”!!

Getting older...it's not so bad, right?

I remember my first official visit to the eye doctor. I was in my early 20’s and I took Trey with me – he was about 5 or 6 and since Tommy had such a bad stigmatisim, we wanted to get Trey checked early. When the doctor saw me and ran all the fun test – he said “you have great vision – you will probably need “reading glasses” when you reach your 40’s” - Now at the time, I thought, “40’s…..that is such a long way off” and didn’t even think twice…..until…..

I noticed for about 6 months to a year before my 45th birthday, I was beginning to push my book (or anything I was reading) away from me. This happened very gradually but Alan and other family members noticed and said something to me – “you might need reading glasses” – instantly my mind went back to the visit when Trey was so young and I heard the doctor say those words…”when you are in your 40’s”….. WOW – at least it was mid 40’s before it happened.

So, I went to the eye doctor…confirmed I needed “reading glasses” and my left eye was a little bit weaker than my right so I have a “tad” of prescription for that eye. I picked out the coolest frame (I thought anyway) for me and reluctantly wear them in public when I absolutely have to! Now all of this happened about 1 year ago and recently I am noticing I need to wear my glasses more often so I’m sure I need to go back and get a stronger prescription. It’s such a joy getting older.

I know I’m not “OLD” as other’s tell me – but I’m no longer 20 – which is fine. I do have a 26 year old son after all. But it makes you take notice of other parts of your body that are showing signs of age …..

1) Eyes (already covered that)
2) Face – It doesn’t hurt but what are these wrinkles that pop up daily?? – some days I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror – yes, lots of creams and OTC remedies that promise to make you look years younger – but is spending all you $$ worth it? I would love to look like I did when I was 25 but wouldn’t that be creepy? I’m about to be a grandmother and I should look that a grandmother!!
3) Back and Shoulder – aches and pains all over. – one time I thought I was having a heart attack. I called my doctor and told her I was having pains between my shoulder blades, up my neck and down through my arms to my elbows. In addition, I felt shooting pains in my right breast. Turns out my shoulders and back is where I tense up so I was “stressed” – the pains in my chest? Oh, after 2 weeks and ruling out certain foods….the doc says I have acid reflux! Oh joy!
4) Pre-Menopause – well, that is an entirely different post!

There is more….I just can’t think….so, losing parts of your memory is one of the signs too!

The good news about growing old... I can’t wait to me a Grandma - Here my grandchild say “I love you Ya-Ya” for the first time – looking forward to retiring (if that is ever possible), building our house in the woods J - hopefully being physically able to travel. Something Alan and I always get excited about talking about. It’s “our thing”.

So, I'm thinking growing up isn’t all that bad! Trying to take one day at a time and remembering to stop and smell the roses!

Surviving Mother Nature

I remember the day I walked into 1014 Old Norcross Tucker Road. Before I even made it into the front door, I was in love. Alan, our realtor and I had been house hunting for about a month and I new "she" was the one when we drove in the drive way.

The house just smiled at me and I new instantly, she was meant for our family. (Note: I call her, a she because she is so beautiful, sitting back welcoming all that enter) We saw a few others after her but when Alan said he placed a bid on it, I hit the floor and prayed that God would answer my prayer and bless us with this dream home. – and he did! January 14, 2007, we moved in! Thank you again Lord!

I stayed by myself the first night – we had furniture delivered first thing in the morning so I volunteered to stay. We had a blow up mattress and cable :) what more could you ask for - I never felt more at home and didn’t hear a peep that might scare me through the night. Our home took care of me all night and I fell in love with her again.

After almost 3 years I am still in love with our home. We have been very blessed having her and she has taken great care of us. We have dressed her up a bit with fresh paint and Alan with his “handy man” ideas. We are still learning how to keep the outside landscaped but it’s a fun learning curve. She has enjoyed hosting our friends for parties and social activities. Keeps us warm in the winter (especially with the fireplace) and cool in the summer as the trees shade her face. She even took care of my Mama when she was sick and took very good care of her until her last breathe.

Then one day it happened….after the rain fell for 2 weeks solid – and we joked that we should build an ark. ...and we watched our local news where people were trapped in their homes because of rivers and lakes over flowing – interstates were closing, schools closing – it was incredible! Then our home took all she could and the unthinkable happened…..our basement began to flood

But….Alan and I worked along side each other, as a team. We got all the boxes moved to safer ground, vacuumed the water, moved furniture, pulled up carpet, sucked up more water. It took 2 days - we kept it together and did what we had to do. We didn’t even question what to do – we just rallied and did it. Looking back, it was wonderful. Knowing that in times of trouble, we trust each other and are there to support the other person. I realized we do have a strong marriage and can actually handle the unthinkable. We love our home and it was going to take much more than yucky water to take it away. And I know our house was happy about it too! If all we have to do is treat for mold and replace the carpet, we have been blessed! There are other families around us that are experiencing a lot more than we are.

And we saved our home from the treacherous waters - and we are getting new carpet (which we needed any way!)

And…how appropriate that my Daily Devotion stated the following:
"And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today... The Lord will fight for you and you shall hold your peace.” –

The Lord fought for us that day and we held our peace :) Praise God!

"Celebrate Good Times.....Come On!"

One of lives simple pleasures is celebrating! Weddings, Birthdays, Birth’s…….Alan and I just celebrated 8 years of marriage. It was a quite celebration. We were the only two around but the night was about us!

When I got home from work – after fighting the Atlanta traffic in pouring rain, I was greeted with Alan’s big smile and a huge hug. (If the night ended right there, that was all I needed) – He had cooked a very nice dinner, had flowers and a card on the table and 2 bottles of wine!

After I slipped into something more comfortable we chatted about the day and I noticed I didn’t hear the background noise of the TV. Not a normal thing in our house. (I like the “noise” of it since we are the only two living in a three story house) - Alan said he only wanted to hear “us talking” – so we talked about when we first dated, first fell for each other – memories we had with the kids, dreams we had, more we wanted to do to the house, etc. It was so refreshing reminiscing back in time. We get so stuck in our daily routines, we talk about bills or what we want for dinner. Just general stuff. Celebrating just the “two of us” was perfect timing for our anniversary. We even looked at our wedding pictures (oh how we looked so happy that day)!!

Then we cleaned the kitchen TOGETHER! That doesn’t happen often in our household either. We laughed and flirted with each other. I could tell Alan was really focusing on me (not football, the evening news, bills, etc) and I loved it!!!

After dinner we moved to the “theatre room”and watched one of our favorite movies. “The Red Violin” – wonderful movie (although, kind of long) – if you haven’t seen it…I recommend renting it! Snuggled and kissed on the couch (my favorite thing to do in life).....

Once the movie was over….my sweet husband carried me over our “bedroom” threshold – although I fussed and fussed, he refused to put me down – the rest of the night I will leave in my memory and not on the internet. It was a very romantic night and it couldn’t have been more perfect! Celebrating with the one you dearly love is wonderful!

I wrote on my Facebook page earlier that Alan and I wouldn’t have the happy marriage we have without God in our lives. I truly believe that! I’m not saying we have a PERFECT marriage – it takes work every day! But I’ve been in relationships that are nowhere near what I have with Alan. He is truly the man God meant for me to be with and I pray that he continue to bless our marriage. (And that He also blesses Trey, Lauren, Kassie and Randy’s marriage! They are all so young and happy and I pray they hold on to each other and look to God to guide them daily)

They just make me happy! :)

After reading back through a few of my blogs, it sounds like I’m a grumpy old woman who does nothing but complain….so I started thinking….

What makes me happy? (no particular order)

When Alan says my name
Sound of rain and thunder
God’s love
My old bunny slippers (I've had since the 80's)
The smell of fresh cut grass
Snuggling with my cat Manning
Kassie’s laugh
Holding hands with Alan
My sister
Road trips
The color green
Sunday afternoon naps
Trey’s smile
Hugs
Reading a good book
Chocolate ice cream
Chili and grilled cheese on a cold winter day
Attending football games
The mountains
“Smell of Alan”
Picayune, Mississippi – where my brother lives
Hot tea when I’m sick
My Mama’s voice – which I still hear in my head
The movie "Father of the Bride"
Sound of the ocean
Smell of sawdust (reminds me of my Daddy)
Christmas Songs
When Alan cooks his gourmet meals - feels like I'm at a posh restaurant
Puppy breathe
Disney World
Penguins
Fresh clean sheets
Girls Weekend!
Alan scratching my back
Soft skin of a baby
Day’s of Our Lives (I Teevo it!)
Theme music for "Jurassic Park"
Board games with my family

I could go on but these are the tops!

A Day in the Life of a Cat

I've always thought that if by chance, “reincarnation” exists, I want to return as a cat – not just any 'ol cat – my owner must LOVE cats! Imagine…..eating, sleeping, being held and loved, come when you want to, stay when you don’t. WOW –

My cat Manning is the most precious, amazing cat I have ever known. "Peyton Manning Warner"...aka, Mr. Mann, Manny Man, Manny - named after the best quarter back ever! hee-hee - (Alan would not agree....he is waiting to get a Lab puppy and name him Marino...Alan's favorite quarter back...now retired)

Now, being a cat, he has his moments (don’t we all) Usually when I arise every morning to get ready for work, he knows I will be gone and no one will be around for his beckon call. - He can't give his sweet "mew" and roll over on his back and have me ohhhh and ahhhh over him. No one to follow him around all day and make sure his favorite window is open so he can "bathe in the sunlight". No one will be there to make sure his "snack bowl" is filled in case he has an emergency urge to eat. No one to sing to him either....WOW - do I love this cat or what? I think I miss my kids more than I realized! :)

So.....Manning decides to bite my ankles every morning on my walk to the bathroom. Most of the time I scoop him up before he does this but sometimes I am too sleepy. If he doesn't do this immediately, he will await for me to come out of the shower and sweetly stretch and roll on the floor, right in front of the bathroom door - "You know you can't resist me Mom"...he is thinking. And, of course, I have to pet him....then he puts his paws around my arm and pulls me in for a nibble. Every morning.........I need to break this habit - It's weird, he doesn't do this on the weekends....or even to Alan.

Even though he turns into the Evil Kitty......he is still such a big part of my heart! He's not a "lap cat" but he loves to be loved on, loves people, and loves me and Alan - Trey knew how much I wanted a cat 2 years ago and a friend of his cat, just had a litter. He thought Manning was the sweetest and cutest, sent us pics of him and the others and it was love at first site for us! So, thank you Trey and thank you Lord for sending Manning to live with us and have him as a part of our family!

Atlanta Traffic - Aaargh!

One of my daily struggles of living in Atlanta is crazed drivers and traffic that awaits me to torment my very being and turn me into someone I don't recognize.

Every morning, I get into my awesome Black Camry Hybrid (which we call, Blackie - Alan has a truck we named Whitie, we got the truck first...seemed appropriate to name the car Blackie)......anyway....as I pull out of my driveway, I say out loud (this is every morning!!!!) "Lord, please watch over me on my drive to work and all the crazy drivers around me - may they stay as far away from me as possible ..... and that I arrive to work safely and unharmed" - well.....the words vary daily but you get the picture!

Now, Alan disagrees with me that I am a good driver. Let's see, he has had numerous speeding tickets and 1 "fender bender" that was his fault (it made his air bags deploy too!) - me? I have a perfectly clean driving record. No blemish or anything - that's more than I can say about my personal life (ie, married 3 times....another time for those stories) or my real "face"...I do a few blemishes there too - lol

But honestly, I'm a good driver. I use my blinker, I don't tailgate, I allow people over (when they use their blinker) - my Mama always told me to be a "defensive" driver. This is what I taught Trey and Kassie as well. I do, however, tend to speed.....but you have to speed in Atlanta or you will literally be blow off the road!

I am aware of my surroundings too - which I believe helps - I have a huge fear that I am going to get side swiped, my car flips, and I'm seriously injured (or tragically killed) - I know that sounds horrible but it's true.


So, if you are driving in the Atlanta area, please be safe and aware - and pray for your safety and the safety of others....that everyone arrives at their destination in one piece.

Life "without" smoking....

I couldn't tell you the last time I had a cold….that is until I quit smoking! It seems like I have had a constant runny nose, watery eyes and general ickiness – I wonder why that is?? I thought when you stopped smoking everything begun to smell better and you can taste things better…..well, it has been over 30 days and all I can say is “give me a cigarette” – Not really but jeez! I’m eating more, I have little energy – Although I don’t THINK about smoking like I used to, I still miss it.

But I know deep down, I am doing the right thing for my body. Plus I don’t want my grandchildren to associate me with smoking – YUCK! Yes, I have gained weight, and have kept these cold like symptoms but if that is all that happens, it has to be worth it! I am saving money, my clothes or hair do not reek of smoke and I don’t feel like an outsider in today’s world.

Soon I will start working out and eating healthier – it’s a gradual thing for me – I’m afraid if I made such a traumatic change and then another, and another….I will go back to my old habits. It has been my track record when I have quit this nasty habit before. So one “good thing” at a time is what I say :)

So as I walk by “the smokers” on my way in to work….I wave to my old friends and smile – they say they miss me but are proud of me too. I too am proud of me!

Animals ARE a big part of the family!

8:20 this morning while working at my desk, my daughter calls me - It's weird I usually don't have my cell phone on my desk but every time I do, someone calls. (strange) - she had a frantic voice and of course my heart sank...knowing something was wrong. It seems her cat Grey was stuck up in a tree screaming his head off this morning. Apparently something had happened to him during the night. He is an inside, outside cat and he does have claws to protect himself (unlike our Manning which we have to watch like a hawk when he is outside) Even though Kassie really doesn't like him to go out....they do live in a pretty quite neighborhood with little traffic and lots of woods. Anyway, Randy had to climb up the tree pretty far to get Grey down. He calmed down a little when he saw his Dad. Randy noticed his legs (Grey's) not working too well so he had to toss Grey to Kassie at the bottom of the tree...which Kassie didn't reach him and he fell to the ground - this or course made matters worse for everyone and they were all understandably upset.

Kassie told me he couldn't move his back legs and was crawling across the floor when they got him inside. Poor thing was scared to death - and parents too! She asked me if he was going to die - my immediate reaction was "HECK NO!....not if I can help it" - (our family loves cats....me especially!!) then I realized this was something I have no control over so I started praying that God would surround this little family and give them all strength to get to the vet. I just told her to be strong and calm for Grey, he can sense if she is upset and get him to the vet ASAP.

They did reach the vet and there was no reaction to Grey when he pinched on his hind legs....so they got him into X-ray - when the vet came back in, he said it was a small fracture on his spine and he has about a 20% chance to pull through. Immediately Kassie said she would take the 20% chance and put this in God's hands.

Grey will be at the vet on oxygen and steroids until Saturday - hopefully he will show signs of improvement and they can bring him home. They were able to see him before they left and he had calmed down quite a bit with the oxygen and wasn't shaking. Of course he looks at them with his georgous eyes...."take me home...I'm scared" look but the nurse was loving on him too which made them feel at least a little less guilty about leaving him.

Animals are such a big part of our lives - and they are a huge part of any true cat loving family! Grey is awesome. When he was a kitten he was HUGE then....his body is very long and his head is big. I mean, proportion to his large body but he is a BIG cat. Very loving, sweet and playful too!

I pray Kassie and Randy will take this situation and grow with it - rather it be good or bad news. That they learn to put this in God's hands and not take it back - that is the unfortunate hard part that everyone deals with.....taking it back and handling it yourself. (I struggle with that a lot!)

Some of life's lessons are great and some not so much! I'm praying for the Rivers' family that Grey will come home soon!
UPDATE: Kassie called me this afternoon to let me know that Grey had passed away. (He is coming home just not to their home...he is in Kitty Heaven!) He was having problems breathing and then he took his last breathe. (God Bless that precious Kitty) - Randy is bringing him home so he can burried in their backyard. This is the first experience either of them have had with losing an animal that they can remember. They are both taking it hard but will be okay - Their dogs Saydi and Dexter are already missing him - They are all so young.....including Grey!

Giving this a try...

Here it goes....my first blog entry.........

I have heard of "blogging" before but I didn't really understand the concept. My son, Trey, told me that my daughter-in-law, Lauren, started blogging about how she is saving money with coupons (which is a good thing) and also things happening in her life - I've been reading her blog on and off and found it very interesting. It's sort of a window into her life and it makes me feel closer to her and my son. They live about 2 1/2 hours away from us and reading "snip-its" of happenings in their day-to-day life keeps them closer.

With all that said, I am a Mom, happily married to my husband Alan for almost 8 years. (more on our story later) I have 2 wonderful "adult kids", my son Trey, married to Lauren and my daughter Kassie, married to Randy -

In a nut shell, I am over 40, married, have the Lord in my life, live in a wonderful home, I work to bring home $$ and I have great friends and family! Of course my life is exciting, complicated, sad, happy and boring at times....but I love every day I can walk this Earth, challenge the day and meet interesting people!!!

I've decided to use this blog for me - if no one reads it, that's okay. I love to write, I have several journals since I was in my 20's so this looks like a good place to start.
Until next time.